


Feeling You

by nsfwfrerardx



Category: MCR - Fandom, My Chemical Romance, frerard - Fandom
Genre: Best Friends, Bottom Frank, First Kiss, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Gay Sex, M/M, Oneshot, Short, Smut, blind, blindfrank, handjobs, sex mention, top gerard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-11
Updated: 2017-11-11
Packaged: 2019-01-31 17:19:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12686700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nsfwfrerardx/pseuds/nsfwfrerardx
Summary: Frank has this really dumbass idea that him being blind means that his feelings towards his best friend aren't mutual. His dad and Gerard work to square this issue away.





	Feeling You

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I am not at all romanticizing being blind. This is about Frank learning that his idea that him being disabled makes him unappealing to Gerard is complete bullshit. And if you're disabled, please know that you deserve every inch of love in this world and you are so so sosososooso worthy of it.

When Frank wakes up, he's not greeted with the morning sun shining through his window. He can feel the heat though, slight temperature difference on his chest. The comforter around his legs feels softer than it did last night, something about the morning always making his blankets feel comfier. Moving over to his side, he presses the button on his clock and hears, "Time is ten fifty." A small wave of panic goes through him, any minute now his best friend will walk be knocking on his- someone starts knocking. It's Gerard, and he still needs to put clothes on but finding them usually takes a few minutes as he hasn't organized his room in ages. 

"Earth to Frankie," Gerard says, still knocking and Frank figures he can just stay in bed and hopefully the other won't mind that he's mostly nude. 

"Come in!" Frank shouts, covering as much as he can with his blanket while still sitting up. He hears the door open and smiles towards the sound of footsteps. "Hey Gee."

"Hey there sleepyhead," he feels the bed dip in front of his crossed legs. "Feeling okay?" then there's a hand on his own, rubbing at the back of it. It's a feeling Frank's used to, Gerard is very touchy to make up for not being able to give him any visual queues. 

"Yeah, I just woke up literally a second ago so I'm still not dressed," Frank says with a chuckle, feeling the other's hand move away. "I had a late night practicing so," he explains for his sleeping in. Ever since Frank was a kid, he's been into playing guitar. Having something that he only needs to touch and hear to experience and learn. Plus, he's not too shabby at it and maybe one day could be apart of a future career. As his options for that are limited, he's putting all the work he can into something he's good at. 

"Oh okay, are you still up for going out today?" He then feels the same hand on his thigh, but the blanket separating direct contact. Now Frank wishes he would of ditched them earlier. 

"Yeah, I just need to get dressed," Frank begins to stand up, slowly revealing his bare chest and legs. "Do you see my favorite sweater anywhere?" 

It takes a moment for Gerard to answer, and when he does it's a bit broken. "y-yeah uh, it's," he gets up from the bed and Frank feels Gerard hand against his back, asking him to move a bit so Gerard can scoot by. "Right here," then there's a soft fabric against his chest and Frank grabs it, feeling for wear the tag is and slipping it on. 

"I like that sweater on you," Frank then realizes Gerard's closer than he thought, feeling his breath on his forehead. It's nothing unusual though. 

"Why do you think it's my favorite?" Frank doesn't get to know what he looks like in things. So he has learned to rely on others to know if he's matching or not. Gerard is one of the only people he can really trust with that, as some before have taken advantage and have let Frank go out looking completely ridiculous. He can practically feel Gerard smile at that.

"Pants?" 

"The black ripped jeans, sorry for this, I meant to wake up earlier to organize my room but-" 

"Shut up you know I don't mind," Gerard's always been adamant in helping Frank out whenever he can. It's not that he believes Frank is incapable, it just feels nice whenever he helps his friend. Even if it's something as simple as picking up a pair of probably dirty ripped up jeans off the floor. 

"I know but-" 

"but nothing," Gerard is really close then, and there's a warm kiss on the side of his head that makes Frank's body tingle. After putting his pants on, letting Gerard adjust his hair, and then locating his boots, they are out the door and walking towards the park.

Frank likes going places with Gerard because 1. he's his best friend, and 2. he doesn't have to use his stick because Gerard just holds his hand. This way Frank just feels like a normal guy and doesn't need to worry about the annoyance of carrying a stick everywhere. Not to mention holding Gerard's hand is nothing to complain about. He always does this thing where he rubs Frank's hand with his thumb, and it makes Frank believe that Gerard actually enjoys holding his hand and isn't just doing it to help out. 

When they get to the park, they head for the tree covered trail. And Frank knows they're there when he hears the crunch of leaves under his boot. This is why they come here, so Frank can hear fall. Also because Gerard said the trees there are really tall and the branches are shaped in a way that reminds him of a Tim Burton movie. 

"Woah," Frank hears Gerard gasp at something and stop, therefor Frank stops too, holding tightly to his hand. 

"What is it?" 

"This tree is really cool," Gerard says in a wondering voice. "Let me show you," whenever Frank hears those words, so much excitement runs through him. He feels Gerard take their connected hands and move his hand around so Frank can flatten his palm. Then Gerard's soft fingertip draw a long line, then a bunch of curvy ones connecting from it, and then a loop that makes Frank laugh. 

"Do trees usually have loops in the branches?" 

"I wish," Gerard brings their hands back into the holding position, and they begin walking once more. Frank doesn't mind not being able to see the trees too much, he's really never been that angry about being blind in general. Growing up this way, he's learned how to do just about everything everybody else can. The ways he learned were different, and required a bit more time, but nonetheless he learned. And being blind is something that never caused him too much stress because he's found so much joy in the things he can hear and touch. When he learned that there were people who couldn't hear, Frank for a moment felt happy for having his sight missing instead. Though, there are times where Frank wants to read that book that hasn't been translated to brail or turned to audio. Or when he'd hear of people who traveled the world, backpacked through Europe, and Frank soon realized he won't be able to do that alone. And even if he were to do it, he wouldn't be able to see the beautiful views that make the places so famous. But he does dream of touching the old architecture of almost dead towns, of smelling the country-side and blooming flowers. He wants to learn the different sounds of different towns, and taste the food each has to offer. It's times when he's desperately searching for something or hearing people laugh at a video that Frank gets these little surges of envy. It'll be at random things and it'll be rare, but for a few minutes Frank will feel the burden of being blind. But when he's holding his best friend's hand and listening to the crunching leaves, feeling the cool fall breeze, it's hard to be mad at anything at all. 

They spend a while walking around the park, trying to find the crunchiest leaf. It's not until he can hear Gerard's stomach grumble that they decide to find something to eat. They end up picking a place they're used to, where the waitress asks, "the usual?" 

Back at Frank's house, they settle on the couch after changing into comfier clothes which Gerard had to help him locate in the mess. There was also an awkward moment when Frank rushed to put a t-shirt on and it was backwards. The t-shirt being backwards wasn't awkward, but when Gerard giggled and took it off of him, is when Frank froze a little. Because Gerard knows that Frank can turn a shirt around himself, and he knows Frank is capable at just about everything, but he takes the other's shirt off anyways. And when he does it, he rucks it up first with his hands caressing Frank's bare sides. He slowly moves it up, and Frank could feel his face heat up from the intimacy of it all. 

When his shirt finally left his body, it got put back on him a second later. Then there was nothing but the memory of Gerard's hands against his skin. It doesn't become a memory missed though, because now, in the living room, Gerard's right hand is stroking his side under his shirt. They're watching a show about ancient pyramids, well, Gerard is watching and Frank's listening. Which is fine because when it's an educational show that doesn't require looking at much, Frank enjoys it. And whenever there's a pause in the show where they're showing a picture or item, Gerard explains what it is to the other. It's a nice way to relax, because Frank just gets to lay his head on Gerard's lap and let his hair get played with along with his side get stroked. All the while he has his face towards his friend's shirt, breathing in the smell of him. To them, this is normal. Frank uses touch and smell to make up for not being able to see his best friend. 

They stay like that for a while, until Frank's dad comes home and sits at the other end of the couch, putting Frank's feet on his own lap and making them laugh. 

"Hope you're enjoying your new bed," Frank's dad jokes, "and hello again Gerard." 

"Hey Mr. Iero," Gerard slips Frank's shirt back down who is now on his back. Whenever his dad comes around Frank's noticed that Gerard stops touching him as much. It makes him wonder if his friend is embarrassed to be caught touching another guy like that, but Frank's dad knows for fact that it's Frank's way of connecting. So, he's not sure why Gerard is hesitant about it. Either way, the other's hand is still in his hair, and the one that was rubbing his side is now just resting in the middle of Frank's stomach. Frank, who makes the executive decision to put his hand over Gerard's and fit their fingers together. 

"What did you boys do today?" Mr. Iero asks in a rough voice. 

"We went to the park," Frank says with a grin, "I got to crunch all the leaves." 

"Oh, that's nice."

"Yeah, and Gee found this wacko tree with loops in it," Frank adds on, squeezing his friend's hand. 

"It was quite wacko," Gerard adds with amusement in his voice. 

"Sounds like an eventful day, you guys eat yet?" 

"Yeah, we went to the corner diner and got the usual stuff," Gerard says in a softer voice. 

"That place has great burgers," Mr. Iero sighs at the thought of them.

"Ew dad, dead animals aren't great," Frank protests.

"Yeah, yeah, you kids and your new-age diet trends," he gets up then and scuffles Frank's hair on the way out. Frank just has to roll his eyes and sigh at the remark. "Gerard, I wanna talk to you real quick if you don't mind, in private," then his footsteps lead to the kitchen. 

"What did I do?" Gerard whispers in a panicked voice. 

"Oh, he probably just wants to give you some speech about making sure I don't, I don't know," Frank sighs, "fall in a fucking ditch or something." Frank hears Gerard giggle and then feels his warm lips against his temple. It's the simple acts of intimacy that makes Frank's whole body go lax. 

"Pray for me," Gerard whispers before gently getting up and setting Frank's head down on the couch. As he leaves their hands are still connected and Frank waits till the last second to move his away. 

"Sure thing," Frank calls back when he heard Gerard's footsteps go into the kitchen. Unfortunately, he didn't get Daredevil hearing from being blind, but he does hear a few whispers, just can't make them out. 

When Gerard gets back he sits where he was before, letting Frank rest his head on his lap again. "What did he say?" 

"Oh," Gerard pets at his hair and side again, "just something about you," he rucks up his shirt a little to get to Frank's skin. "And ditches." 

"Shut up," Frank bumps his forehead into the other's lower stomach, "tell me the truth."

"I can't do both of those, Frankie."

"Ugh," he sighs, "what did he say? do I have to remind him again that I'm not some sad, incapable-"

"No, no, nothing like that, it's a surprise so I can’t tell you." 

Frank groans, "I'm blind Gee, everything is already a surprise." 

Gerard giggles, "but this is a fun surprise, you just gotta wait till next weekend okay?" 

"Okay," Frank sighs in defeat. Hopefully the surprise is Gerard confessing his extreme love and care for him, but something tells Frank that his dad probably wouldn't have much of a hand in that. 

They spend the rest of the evening on the couch like this, Frank not turning away from Gerard's shirt once. 

The week is filled with boring homeschooling and then exciting visits from his best friend. By exciting, he means Gerard coming over and "watching" shows with him on the couch. Some nights though, they'll play music together and each time he catches Gerard singing a tune, Frank's heart sputters. His voice is soft, but rough, and always feels like a direct message to Frank's heart. And that's ridiculous, because it's not like the love song Gerard has been into lately has anything to do with him. It's not like when they're cuddled up in his bed, that when Gerard is humming that tune while stroking his hair it means it's for him. Nonetheless, Frank humors himself and pretends that each time Gerard holds him, it's because he wants to be close, and not just to appease Frank's need for human contact. 

Next weekend comes and Frank's been annoying the shit out of Gerard asking what the surprise is. At one point he thinks he may have gone too far. They were sitting on the couch in the usual position, Frank resting his head on Gerard's lap. When he started prying again and Gerard started refusing to reveal it. Listen, Frank's life isn't all that exciting and any type of surprise that's supposed to be fun is one he's going to milk until he gets the info. Gerard's good though, which is why Frank ended up moving from his laying position and to straddling Gerard, holding his hands to his sides. 

"I'm trapping you till you tell me," Frank had said, tightening his thighs around the other's and making it so he can't move. He had felt Gerard jokingly struggle a bit, knowing well that he could easily get the other off. Frank pushed back more forcefully, laughing when Gerard broke his hand free and went straight to tickling the other. Frank broke out laughing, totally unable to put up a fight but almost fell backwards when leaning away from Gerard's touch. That's when Gerard caught him quickly, wrapping his arms around Frank's waste and pulling him close to keep him on the couch. Except Gerard pulled him a lot closer than needed, their chests and stomachs flushed together. Frank's forehead met Gerard's and he could feel his shallow breaths against his lips. It wouldn't have been awkward if Gerard just let go of him the second he got Frank back up, but he kept holding him and Frank could feel the warmth radiating through their clothes. His hands are pressed against the other's chest, but the part of him that wants to completely melt into his best friend took over. And then both of those hands slowly moved up and around Gerard's neck, and Gerard actually leaned into it, letting their noses brush together. For that moment, he could feel how Gerard wanted him, how their bodies fit together and how natural it feels. It almost happened, Gerard did this thing where he pulled Frank up and closer so that Frank’s mouth was little higher than the other's. It was a move that made Frank gasp and he felt Gerard's neck flex as he leaned up. And then he felt his top lip on his own and then he heard the front door open. 

That's when Frank flopped to the side of the couch, and sat up with his hands in his lap and his face red. Gerard had quickly moved his hands away from Frank and he instantly missed them. The person who interrupted what was supposed to be his first kiss was his dad. And after that incident Gerard made some stupid remark about needing to help his mom make pasta and left in a rush. Frank spent that night touching his own upper lip and remembering how it touched Gerard's.

That was Saturday though, and now it's Sunday after church. Gerard is over and they're all eating lunch together, leaving them no time to talk about what had happened yesterday. Mr. Iero had noticed the tension between the two, and ended up pulling Frank aside while Gerard cleaned up, having offered to. 

"What is it?" Frank asks, wondering what the hell is it with his dad having secret conversations all of a sudden. 

"What's wrong?" He gets to the point.

"Nothing, why?" Frank lies.

"I could cut the tension between you and Gerard with a damn string, did something happen?" Frank stayed silent, knowing he's not a good liar but also not wanting to confess the fact he almost kissed another guy. "So, something did happen," he picks up on the silence as confirmation. 

"It's nothing, really," Frank sighs, just wanting the conversation to be over. 

"Frank, I’m not stupid," and that comment scares him, because now he knows that his dad knows. "It's pretty obvious that there's something between you two," Frank curses himself. "Now, tell me what happened, because I’m assuming it has to do with that." 

"I- it was stupid, I was stupid," Frank's dad lets out a breath and reaches to unfold his arms and hold Frank's elbow in a comforting manner. 

"Tell me," he says one last time in a softer voice. Frank trusts his dad, he really does. It's just nerve wracking telling anyone 'hey I’m gay and almost kissed the guy who you probably see as a second son.' 

"We," Frank takes a deep breath, "we almost kissed." He feels small, but also relieved, because he gets to talk about it to someone at least. 

"I'm guessing that's what I walked into yesterday?" Frank shifts uncomfortably. "Look, Frank, I need you to know that I don't care who you like. Okay?" Frank nods his head, feeling a weight leave his shoulders. "Well, sorry for ruining the mood," Frank blushes and wants to run away, but the hand on his elbow keeping him from doing so. "What's with the tension though? Just, ya know, do it again, but like, more privately and away from possible interruption."

"Daaaaaaaad," Frank's embarrassed getting advice on where to make a move on his friend. 

"It's really not that complicated, Frank."

"It is when the feelings are completely unrequited," he lets out in one breath. There's a pause, an uncomfortable one, until his dad speaks again.

"You seriously believe that Gerard isn't completely in love with you?" Love, Frank wasn't thinking about love, but yeah, Gerard loving him like that would be nice. 

"I... I don't know, I don't think so," he admits. 

"I know that you can't literally see it, but I can literally see it, Frank. So, let me inform you on some things," Frank prepares himself to be informed. "I know for a fact that he loves you," he's talking lower now. "The way he looks at you, Frank, is enough to tell me that. The only time I ever see anyone look at someone else that way, is when they're in a relationship. I'm going to let you in on a little secret, you know when you guys watch your history shows?" Frank nods, feeling nervous since that's literally every fucking day. "He barely ever looks at the TV." Frank's eyebrows arch in confusion. "I swear to God, Frank, he probably thinks the show is being projected on your damn face." It's surprising to hear that, also comforting to know it. He wonders what exactly it is that Gerard is seeing when apparently spends episodes of a show gazing at him. And then Frank realizes he really wishes he could see it for himself, see the way Gerard looks at him.

“I just- I never thought that someone would be into someone like me,” it’s stupid, it really is, but Frank can’t help but think that maybe being blind is too much for someone else to deal with. 

“Are you serious?” his dad asks, stunned, and Frank feels small. “Frank,” his dad sighs, “you being blind does not make you unworthy of love.” And Frank wants to cry, he really does, because he had no idea just how much he needs to hear that. “Gerard doesn’t give a rat’s ass about that, has he ever treated you differently or made you feel bad for not being able to see? He has three other vision-abled best friends but spends literally every day with you and not them. If he cared so much about needing to be with someone who can see, he wouldn’t even bother with treating you the way he does. Do you honest to God think that Gerard would deny you simply for being blind?” 

That question shakes him a little, Gerard is so nice and caring that there’s no way in hell he’d ever deny someone for having a disability. He knows Gerard and his heart, the way he puts everyone else first and always makes sure Frank’s comfortable. “No,” Frank admits in a broken voice. 

"Exactly,” his dad pats him on the shoulder, “I need you to trust me when I say that the feelings are mutual, okay?" Frank nods, feeling himself begin to play with the possible fact that Gerard wants him, that Gerard loves him. "Now, I'm seeing your uncle tonight, so you and Gerard are gonna have the house to yourselves. And there's something me and him have been working on throughout the week, but I’ll let him give it to you. Think it'll be good for you both. I'm gonna head out now but remember what I said and be safe and yadda yadda yadda," after that, his dad is saying bye to Gerard and walking out the door. 

The moment it shuts, the tension re-enters the space between them and Frank starts to walk his way towards the kitchen but is met with Gerard hands stopping him with a touch to the waist. 

"You wanna watch Egyptian shit?" He asks, grabbing the other's hand and walking them towards the couch. He questions whether or not to lay his head on his friend's lap, not knowing if it's okay after yesterday. Those concerns are wiped away though when Gerard is pulling him in, except this time he's not laying on his lap, but is cuddled to the side of him. And, it's better, actually. He has Gerard's arm wrapped around him and he's leaning back onto his chest. He feels Gerard's legs lay under his own, and is soon getting his hand held while the other is still holding onto his side. It's more intimate than usual, it's different but it's so much better to be literally cuddled into the other. Gerard is wrapped around him and holding him close as the TV plays the same show about ancient aliens. It feels so disconnected though, because Gerard's breath is hitting his temple and his hand is being rubbed in that way Gerard loves to do. Also, he can feel the heartbeat of his friend against his back, and can tell this is a different feeling than their usual TV pose. 

"Are you comfy?" Gerard asks in a breathy voice, feeling the heat of his breath. 

Frank's voice almost fucking cracks when he barely gets out a "yeah" in response. And then Gerard's doing that temple kiss that makes his body do some things. It lasts longer this time, though, it's a soft press of warm lips that stays there for about 3 long Mississippi seconds which is a lot more than the usual brief half-second peck. Gerard's mouth lingers there for a bit, not touching but definitely there and leaving goosebumps on his arms. When he does move away, he tugs Frank a little closer and Frank can’t do anything else but fit his face in the crease of Gerard’s neck. This is so much better than just getting to smell his shirt and rest on his thigh, it’s Gerard’s actual skin and he can almost taste it. Frank thinks that maybe Gerard is okay with what almost happened, and after that talk with his dad, maybe he’s more than okay with it. Frank doesn’t even concentrate on the show, too transfixed by the essence of his best friend pressed so close. The way the other’s hand moves up and down his side so carefully, and the simple feeling of their hands together is something that almost makes him fall asleep. After a couple hours of just staying like that, Frank is surprised he never did. 

“You want your surprise?” It’s the first thing said in almost two hours, and Frank had honestly forgotten about it. Frank grunts in response, letting himself cuddle closer to Gerard, choosing the comfort of this over the surprise he’d been begging to know about all week. “I’d expect you to be off the couch jumping by now.”

“Comfy,” Frank mumbles, feeling his lips graze the other’s skin. 

“Well,” Gerard thinks for a moment, “how about you go to your room, I’ll grab the surprise, and then you can get comfy again.” Frank assumes that means they get to cuddle more, which, okay, that gets him off the couch. “I’ll be right there,” Gerard calls as Frank walks towards his room.

Frank lets himself lay down in his bed, wanting to just fall asleep right there but he can hear Gerard walking around and then the footsteps grow closer to his room. He hears him enter and feels the dip on his bed, “okay,” Gerard says excitedly, “sit up.” Frank obeys, and let himself scoot closer till his thigh is touching Gerard’s, and then leans onto his shoulder, holding on his arm loosely. “Someone’s sleepy,” Gerard ruffles his hair and Frank’s not sure what comes over him, but he turns his head and presses a dry kiss to the other’s clothed shoulder. 

“Just wanna lay down with you,” maybe it’s the tiredness, or maybe he’s a little tipsy from breathing in Gerard for the last three hours. It’s probably a mixture of both, plus the added confidence of knowing there’s a high chance the guy he loves, loves him back. He feels Gerard tense under his hands, though, and thinks that maybe he’s made a mistake.

“After I give you the thing your dad and I have been brainstorming on, it’s an early birthday present I guess,” he hears the shuffling of paper and then his hand is being taken from Gerard’s arm and places on a piece of what he assumes is wrapping paper. 

“Why did you wrap it?” Frank giggles.

“Just because you’re blind it doesn’t mean you should be stripped of the unwrapping experience,” Gerard explains and that makes his heart so warm because his family has always left gifts unwrapped, not seeing the point in hiding them when Frank can’t even see them. 

“Aw,” Frank starts to tear at the piece of paper and the second his hand touches a knob and then a string he knows what it is. “You’re fucking me,” Frank comments and Gerard just laughs. 

“Keep going, c’mon,” he urges, and Frank tears more of the paper and then pics up the object, having to move away from Gerard to get it on the bed. He continues to unwrap and feel the smooth material of the object, running his fingers on every string. 

“Electric?” Frank asks breathily as he feels the wabble on the end of it and no hole in the instrument. 

“Hell yeah,” Gerard confirms, and he can hear him bundling up the wrapping paper and placing it on the floor. 

“I can’t fucking believe it, what type?” He plucks each string and listen to the out of tuned noise it makes. 

“1980s Fender Stratocaster, you like?” 

“Like? Gee, this is amazing, Jesus it must have cost a shit load, how did my dad afford this he can barely afford a pizza.”

“Well, we kind of split it. It was his idea to get you a new guitar, but he didn’t know which brand or style you like so I helped out. This one was actually at some dumbasses garage sale and he sold it for way less than it’s worth. They’re usually four hundred but this guy sold it to us for half that.” 

“That’s crazy, and still a lot of money,” Frank can’t help but feel guilty anytime someone spends a fucking dime on him. 

“After we split the cost it wasn’t much, actually.”

“Wait, you paid towards it?” Now Frank feels even shittier, Gerard already buys him lunch almost three times a week. 

“Yes, because I wanted to, and I’m not letting you feel bad about it so shut up and enjoy the guitar,” he laughs, knowing how Frank gets.

“I’m gonna fucking cry,” Frank continues to caress the instrument, it’s perfect.

“As long as they’re tears of joy.” 

Frank needs to do a lot, he needs to play his new Fender, he needs to call his dad and thank him, he needs to hug Gerard till he dies, he needs to kiss Gerard till he dies. The kicker is that he needs to do all of that in one second or he’ll explode, but he settles for setting the guitar down beside him and reaching over to Gerard’s shoulder, hugging him tightly. His arms wrap around the other man, and he can feel Gerard chuckle underneath his weight and then wrap his own arms around Frank’s torso. 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you,” Frank says in a mumbled voice. Gerard tugs at his torso more and he’s forced onto Gerard’s lap, putting them back in the position they were yesterday. 

“Of course, I’m just happy to see you happy,” Frank kisses his cheek then, a bunch of times, totally exaggerating it and making Gerard laugh. “You’re really good at guitar, Frankie,” Gerard starts, and Frank sits back, leaning into the other’s arms and letting his hands slide down and around the back of the other’s neck. “You deserve to have all the tools needed to make something out of it,” Gerard says sincerely, and Frank smiles, leaning his forehead against his friend’s. “So I totally expect a wicked cover of every Smashing Pumpkins song by this time next year.” 

Frank giggles, and feels Gerard shift him closer and lets his right hand rub at the hair at the back of Gerard’s neck. “Thank you, and I promise to have their discography riffs completely memorized.” There’s a pause where he can feel the tension creep up again, and knows there’s only two ways out of it. One, they awkwardly separate after a moment, or two, they finally kiss. Frank really hopes it’s the latter way out. He’s beginning to think that it just may be the latter though, because he feels Gerard’s hands move from over his shirt to under, and he gets to feel those hands on him once again. They’re gripping his sides tighter than normal, and he can feel the gradual pull of Gerard’s body.

“You know I love you, right?” he whispers, and Frank can feel his breath against his own lips. It’s makes Frank melt a little in his arms. “So much,” his hands move a little higher, making his shirt ruck up more. 

A faint “Gee,” is all his brain can form into words. 

“Wish you could see just how beautiful you are,” if Frank wasn’t crying before, he definitely is now. Gerard’s never called him that, he’s complimented him before, but never like this. 

“Wish I could see you,” Frank bravely says, always have wanted to be able to see the guy he gets to feel and hear. Gerard is then moving his hand from Frank’s side and is reaching to the other’s hand. He guides it to his own face, letting Frank feel for himself the features on it. Frank’s never liked touching people’s faces to get to know their appearance, it felt too personal, he’s only ever done it to his mom and dad, and some other family members he feels comfortable enough to do it to. Never any friends though, but he’s always wanted to touch Gerard’s face, it’s just something he knew would be way more personal than necessary to him. But now he’s touching his cheek bone, feeling the soft skin for the first time. He moves his hand over to Gerard’s nose, and smiles when he notices how upturned it is compared to his own. It’s cute, he thinks. And then he softly brushes over his closed eyes, they’re not as big as his own, but the other’s brow bone is more prominent. His hand moves lower to shape his jaw, which is sharp and fits nicely in his palm. Then the last thing, he moves his thumb over Gerard’s slightly opened lips. He feels that they’re full, but the top one is thinner and smaller than the top. Gerard smiles against the touch, and he gets to feel the way his mouth stretched towards the left side more than the right. Frank wants to memorize these lines, the feeling of each edge of his face and the softness of his skin; the softness of his lips. His fingers linger there, and Gerard’s hand moves to Frank’s lower back and pulls him till their chests are pressed together, only Frank’s arm in the way. “You’re perfect,” he says in a voice Gerard wouldn’t of been able to hear if he were a little further away. He feels the other’s smile twitch a little, and then he’s almost kissing his own fingers before he moves them down a little and then he’s kissing the lips he was just touching. It’s soft, it’s everything he’s been dreaming of, when their lips finally meet. His lips fit perfectly between Gerard’s, and it’s gone too soon when he moves away. But Frank’s not having any of that, and he moves his hand from between them to the back of his best friend’s neck, tugging until their mouths meet again in an open kiss. Having had tested the waters, knowing that this is okay, Gerard kisses him with force and more passion than before. Frank returns the passion in the kiss, and moves with Gerard as they makeout for the first time. 

Frank’s felt a lot of things in his life, he has to in order to get around. He’s felt every texture and every surface, been grossed out and relaxed by whatever graces his fingertips. But this, Gerard wet, warm lips moving so carefully but passionately against his own, is the best thing he’s ever felt in his entire seventeen years. It is, until Gerard’s tongue comes into the picture and then that right there, Gerard’s tongue rubbing against his own is the best feeling in the world. Frank keeps having to change his mind though, because then he’s being pushed onto the bed, and Gerard between his legs while getting kissed like this becomes the best feeling. But no, Gerard has to top that because he starts grinding into him and holding onto his thighs and letting his body weight fall against him. Frank gasps into Gerard’s mouth each time his dick gets the friction from the rubbing of their crotches together. 

“Gee,” Frank gasps out when one angle in particular makes him shudder and he feels Gerard’s lips suck at his neck. He wasn’t expecting to do this tonight, didn’t think he’d end up under Gerard, getting hickies and a hard-on. But hell, Frank is not complaining. And somehow his shirt comes off, and somehow Gerard’s comes off too and then Frank’s mind is exploding as he feels Gerard’s bare chest against his for the first time. Tonight is full of first times. It’s the first time he’s kissed someone, it’s the first time he’s been underneath someone like this. It’s the first time he’s felt lips on his neck and the first time he’s felt someone hand around his dick. And when the latter happens, Frank almost comes right then and there because wow, Gerard’s hands feel a lot better there than on his sides. And that becomes the best feeling ever, the feeling of his dick being stroked while being kissed tenderly. But of course, it gets topped, because he then feels Gerard cock against his own and then a hand jerking them both off. And wow, that there is the absolute, most amazing feeling. He’s clinging to dear fucking life with his arms wrapped around the other, his nails scratching down the other’s back as waves of pleasure overcome him. He’s hearing himself moan and it should be embaressing, but Gerard is saying things like, ‘you sound so pretty,’ and ‘you’re so fucking hot,’ that he really doesn’t care how he sounds. Gerard is making him feeling amazing in a million different ways and soon enough he’s cumming on his own stomach and over Gerard’s hands with Gerard connected to his mouth. That, was the best feeling ever. 

It takes a moment to get back into reality but when he does, he reaches down and wraps his own hand around Gerard’s cock, letting the other let go and lean against the bed, arms between Frank’s head. Wow, he’s touching his best friend’s dick and its thick, and long, and exceeding every expectation he had for touching a dick. He moves as fast as Gerard was before, and lets the other thrust into his fist and Frank can’t help but imagine how one Gerard will be thrusting into him and not just his fist. The thought alone almost makes Frank hard again. Gerard is panting and moaning into Frank’s mouth and he can feel Gerard get close as his cock begins to throb and twitch in his hand. He tightens his grip a little and rubs his thumb over Gerard’s slit, making him curse and cum all over the both of them. He strokes Gerard until he’s done and then brings his cum covered hand up to his mouth, wanting to taste it. It tastes weird, bitter, but it’s Gerard and he can’t wait till he can taste more of him. 

“Fuck, Frankie,” Gerard comments at the other’s actions, kissing him deeply afterwards, not caring that his cum is still in Frank’s mouth. 

“That was,” Frank breathes when they separate, and Gerard slumps to his side, making a point of pulling Frank against him. 

“Yeah,” Gerard agrees to the lost though, stroking Frank’s back as they let their heart rates slow down. 

They eventually clean up and change into new boxers, staying shirtless as Frank denies the other to ever wear one again. The guitar that Frank had forgotten about for a few minutes there is places carefully on the floor. They get into bed again and he’s now cuddles to Gerard’s side. 

“So, I’m guessing you kinda like me,” Frank smiles and rubs his hand around the other’s chest. 

Gerard laughs, “I think I kinda love you,” he corrects, making Frank’s body heat up all over again. 

“I think I kinda love you too,” Gerard kisses him then, slowly and softly, transferring his feelings through the simple tug of the other’s lips as they separate. “So,” he starts, wanting to make sure of something. “You don’t mind that, ya know, I’m-“ 

“Frank,” Gerard interrupts sternly, “not once in my life, have I ever though that I would love you more, care for you more, enjoy your presence more, if you could see.” And that has Frank reaching to kiss Gerard again, accepting that yeah, Gerard doesn’t think that way. “I love you the way that you are, and I’ll never in my life want to change a thing about you,” he presses more, making it clear that Frank has nothing to worry about. They fall asleep like that, cuddles together and tears begging at Frank’s eyes. And when he wakes up, Gerard is still there, his skin still touching his own. And Frank thinks that waking up like this, the man he loves holding him close and Gerard’s scent being the first thing he’s greeted with, is the absolute best feeling to ever come across both his skin and his heart.


End file.
